Last weekend a cyclist on a
club group spin told me I was “not a real cyclist as I hadn’t shaved my legs”.
Having received no response from me, he proceeded to say: “if you knew anything
about the culture of cycling you would shave your legs”; in his eyes, shaving
equating to serious cyclist. This cyclist looked a bit over weight and was around
45 years old. Shaving his legs, on a visual inspection alone, would, I thought
(probably somewhat unfairly) seem to be the closest he’ll get to feeling like a
cyclist – though apparently he dominated a charity sportive earlier this year. As
someone who cycles at least 12,000km a year and never shaves his legs, I find
this kind of peer pressure to be amusing.
I am sometimes issued with Velominati
Rule #33 ‘Shave your guns’ (http://www.velominati.com/).
It states: “Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times”. But many riders
forget the rule also states: “If, for some reason, your legs are to be
left hairy, make sure you can dish out plenty of hurt to shaved riders”. In
other words, if you are a strong rider, you can earn the right to not shave by
being stronger than the majority of the shave slaves. As a strong rider, I turn
up to group rides with hairy legs and watch as most of those in the group
suffer and grow increasingly surprised that, contrary to appearances, I am not
a weak newbie (I just don’t shave because I have Eczema and it makes my skin
sore). As they suffer, I smile. As they are dropped, I have the fleeting
thought that shaving didn’t make them faster or stronger.
The point here is
that shaving or not shaving your legs does not make you a cyclist or a
non-cyclist; only cycling and cycling a lot makes you a cyclist. If someone
turned up for their first ever spin with a cycling club with shaved legs and a
brand new bike, I would find this hilarious. But others would judge this person
a cyclist and nod their collective heads at how this person must be experienced
because look at how smooth those guns are. Boy can he handle a razor! Problem
is this person may not be able to handle his new bike. My advice to all the
keepers of cycling culture out there, the shaving peer pressure specialists, is
not to judge a book by its cover.
As to those who read this and think shaved
legs are more aero-dynamic, heal quicker and are better to massage - this is a
pile of bollocks. The most quoted study on aerodynamics and leg hair indicates
a saving of around 5 seconds in a 40km time trial ridden at 37kph. Would I risk
my wife refusing to have sex with me because my legs feel like those of a woman
for 5 seconds? Do I want the slagging I’d get in the running club for suddenly having
hair free legs for 5 seconds? No. Has anyone ever turned up to an ER with cuts
on their legs and been told: “if you were a cyclist you’d recover faster?” Do
doctors prefer treating women because they shave theirs? No. Do elite
international marathon runners find their massage therapist is constantly moody
because of having to massage hairy legs? No.
Shaving your legs is a choice. If
you are an international professional cyclist or a top drawer Irish rider, I
can understand the need to look the part. But that is what it is - looking the
part. If you ride mostly for leisure and take part in sportives, lower tier
racing or are new to cycling, what is the point? There is no requirement to do
so. Hell, during the winter you will wear tights and please tell me you don’t shave
when your legs are not visible. When the warm weather approaches, ask yourself:
“do I really need to lose the tights and shave my legs?” Or am I only shaving
my legs due to peer pressure? For the majority of male cyclists, it will be peer
pressure only which causes them to reach for their wives’ Gillette Venus Razor.
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